Sir Wogglefart

Champion of the Absurd


Some are born to greatness. Other’s are thrust into it. And some invent a delusion of greatness after suffering severe head trauma.

The mighty Wogglefart began humbly, as just another gretchin Squig herder on some nameless Ork world. Then one day, after being encouraged in his good work by his foreman (via steel toed boot to the head) Wogglefart had a brilliant idea. He was not put in this universe to be a herder. He was meant to be a warrior, a paladin, a knight! He made himself a saddle, and started to ride his favorite squig around the yard. It made such a sight that even the foreman had nothing to say about it, other than try to make wagers on how long it would take him to be bucked and then devoured by his steed. The unfortunate foreman ended up beggaring himself, as Wogglefart tamed the savage beast; his faithful (now late) steed Toofy.

Wogglefart fashioned himself armour made from leftover cookware (or cookwear in this case), and claimed his lance in the form of a grotstick “liberated” from his former foreman. Fearless, he approached the local Nobz, demanding to be allowed to fight in the ongoing battle with his people’s ancient enemy, Those Other Orks What Live Across the River. The Nobz, impressed by his pluck, or perhaps just thinking it would be good for a laugh, agreed, and set him in the front line.

Shockingly, Wogglefart survived unscathed, and his legend (mostly in the form of drinking songs and tusk-in-mouth jokes) grew. He became something of a mascot and good luck charm and the tribe thought it a shame to sell him to those passing freebooters, but hey, teeths is teeths.

Wogglefart has never caught on that the Orks he fights with do not take him seriously. He sees his status as a sign of determination and spirit being a match for natural strength. Perhaps there is something to that, as Wogglefart has survived everything thrown at him, and has never run away. Something that even some Warbosses cannot claim.

Sir Wogglefart

The Paradox Hammer ComicallyDim